The 12 Days of Christmas, Inu Yasha style!
by Alyson Metallium
Summary: Welp, here's the classice 12 Days of Christmas song mutliated. I hope the rating is all right, there's some STRONG language in here. Oo


**Notes**: You might want to be up to date on the IY manga to know who Jakotsu is. If you don't, go here, he does a wonderful translation job. ^^ http://www.wot-club.org.uk/Inuyasha/ The 12 Days of Christmas, as well as Inu Yasha, do not belong to me. Hell, I don't even know who WROTE The 12 Days of Christmas. This fic is the product of too much boredom, too little sleep, and the fact that my computer was handy. ^^ Enjoy!   


*cue cheesy music* 

**On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me . . . a kitsune in a god tree!**

Shippou: SOMEONE GET ME DOWN FROM HERE! 

**On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me . . . two Osuwari's. . .**

Inu Yasha: KAGOME YOU BITCH! 

**And a kitsune in a god tree!**

Shippou: Hello?! Anyone?! 

**On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me . . . three indecent proposals . . .**

Miroku: Please bear my child!   
Girls: . . . . *WHAM* 

**Two Osuwari's . . .**

Inu Yasha: Damnit, you're going to pay bitch! 

**And a kitsune in a god tree!**

Shippou: YOU JERKS STOP IGNORING ME! 

**On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me . . . four Air Rips . . . .**

Youkai: YAAAAAAAAAAH! 

**Three indecent proposals . . . .**

Girls: *WHAM WHAM WHAM* 

**Two Osuwari's . . .**

Inu Yasha: FUCK YOU! 

**And a kitsune in a god tree!**

Shippou: *sits on a branch* I guess I could enjoy watching Inu Yasha and company fighting. 

**On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me . . . five enchanted fangs!**

Sesshoumaru: Why stop with Toukijin? I want a whole collection! 

**Four Air Rips . . .**

*the wind is to loud for anyone to be heard* 

**Three indecent proposals . . .**

Miroku: Why am I the one that's always getting hit? 

**Two Osuwari's . . .**

Inu Yasha: ERK! 

**And a kitsune in a god tree!**

Shippou: I simply don't feel like jumping down. 

**On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me . . . six mock exams . . .**

Kagome: . . . . SHIT! *turns blue and faints* 

**Five enchanted fangs!**

Sesshoumaru: Never leave home without one. Especially the Tensaiga. 

**Four Air Rips . . .**

Shippou: DAMNIT, MIROKU, YOU JUST SUCKED UP OUR TREE! 

**Three indecent proposals . . .**

Girls: YOU PERVERT! 

Miroku: Maa maa . . . 

**Two Osuwari's . . .**

Inu Yasha: GAH! 

**And a kitsune in a god tree!**

Shippou: *glares at author* People are going to think I'm an idiot for being up here! 

**On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me . . . seven Hell attempts . . .**

Kikyou: . . . He got away again. . . 

**Six mock exams . . .**

Kagome: IT'S SO NOT FAIR! 

**Five enchanted fangs!**

Sesshoumaru: Of course, Toukijin is a wonderful blade to have around as well. 

**Four Air Rips . . .**

Inu Yasha: SHUT THAT FUCKING THING OFF ALREADY! 

**Three indecent proposals . . .**

Miroku: Is bearing my child such a bad thing? 

**Two Osuwari's . . .**

Inu Yasha: MY BACK IS FUCKING KILLING ME! 

**And a kitsune in a god tree!**

Shippou: Is this the same tree Inu Yasha was pinned to? 

**On the eight day of Christmas my true love gave to me . . . eight Kirara hugs . . .**

Sango: *hugs Kirara who mews while the others give the author a dirty look* 

**Seven Hell attempts . . .**

Kikyou: If only that Kagome wouldn't get in the way all the time.... 

**Six mock exams . . .**

Kagome: *sobs* Why me? 

**Five enchanted fangs!**

Sesshoumaru: The beauty of Toukijin is that I can hack Jaken in half with it *does so* and then bring him back with Tensaiga. *does so* It's unlimited practice time. 

Jaken: *faints* 

**Four Air Rips . . .**

*the group jumps Miroku* 

**Three indecent proposals . . .**

Girls: *start pounding on Miroku again* 

**Two Osuwari's . . .**

Inu Yasha: YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS! 

Kagome: You already said that. 

**And a kitsune in a god tree!**

Shippou: . . . . . 

**On the Ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me . . . nine baboon pelts . . .**

Naraku: They're all the rage! *model* 

**Eight Kirara hugs . . .**

*all the girls hug up on Kirara* 

**Seven Hell attempts . . .**

Kikyou: Inu Yasha's life is mine. No one else is allowed to kill him. 

All: WE GET THE POINT ALREADY! 

**Six mock exams . . .**

Kagome: Gotta study gotta study gotta study! 

**Five enchanted fangs!**

Sesshoumaru: If only there were a fang that could be created to hush Rin up. She was so quiet when I first met her. 

**Four Air Rips . . .**

*Miroku's hand is now sealed* 

**Three indecent proposals . . .**

Sango: If you weren't such a lech you wouldn't be so battered right now, houshi-sama. 

Miroku: But it was worth it to have those girls bodies close to me. 

Sango: *twitch* 

**Two Osuwari's . . .**

Inu Yasha: URGH! 

**And a kitsune in a god tree!**

Shippou: Zzzzzzzz..... 

**On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me . . . ten wimpy wolves . . .**

Kouga: Heya Kagome, still hanging around with dog-turd? 

Inu Yasha: DIE BASTARD! 

**Nine baboon pelts . . .**

Naraku: However, just because you dress like I, Naraku, doesn't mean that you will be anywhere near as powerful as I am. 

**Eight Kirara hugs . . .**

*Kirara makes the rounds* 

**Seven Hell attempts . . .**

Kikyou: . . . . . . . . . . . 

**Six mock exams . . .**

Kagome: Oh please don't let there be math, oh please don't let there be math . . . . 

**Five enchanted fangs!**

Sesshoumaru: Of course, Tessaiga still shouldn't be in my worthless little brother's hands, but I'll let him continue to play with it for a while longer. 

**Four Air Rips . . .**

Miroku: You guys only had to ask nicely for me to shut it off, you know. 

**Three indecent proposals . . .**

Sango: *proceeds to beat even more crap outta Miroku* 

**Two Osuwari's . . .**

Inu Yasha: *is nicely buried in an Inu Yasha shaped hole* 

**And a kitsune in a god tree!**

Shippou: *in his sleep* Can I have some more Cup Mein, Kagome? 

**On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me . . . eleven yaoi zombies . . .**

Jakotsu: Oooo, Inu Yasha, you're so CUTE! Come play with me! 

Inu Yasha: ONE WAS FUCKING ENOUGH, NOW THERE ARE ELEVEN?!!! 

Miroku: I'll second that! 

**Ten wimpy wolves . . .**

Kouga: Just try to kill me, dog-turd! *brawl ensues* 

Kagome: Guys . . . 

**Nine baboon pelts . . .**

Naraku: Of course the baboon pelt does come with it's own baboon face mask. Perfect for hiding your identity from your enemies. 

**Eight Kirara hugs . . .**

Nuff said. 

**Seven Hell attempts . . .**

Kikyou: Inu Yasha, come with me to Hell. It's a nice place where we can be together forever. 

**Six mock exams . . .**

Kagome: KYAAAAAA! THREE OF THEM ARE MATH!!!! I'm going to end it now! *sobs* 

**Five enchanted fangs!**

Sesshoumaru: Make sure you keep them all nice and polished. 

**Four Air Rips . . . .**

Miroku: When you have a cool attack, everyone wants to stop you from using it. *sigh* 

**Three indecent proposals . . .**

Miroku is now nothing more than a pile of bruises, but bruises with a lecherous grin. 

**Two Osuwari's . . .**

Inu Yasha: Aaaaaaa....... @_@ 

**And a kitsune in a god tree!**

Shippou: Is it over yet? 

**On the twelth day of Christmas my true love gave to me . . . twelve Shikon Shards . . .**

Inu Yasha, Kouga, Naraku: MINE! IS NOT! IS SO! LET GO! MAKE ME! *brawl* 

**Eleven yaoi zombies . . .**

Jakotsu: GET YOUR HANDS OFF HIM! INU YASHA IS MINE! *jumps in* 

**Ten wimpy wolves . . .**

Kouga: I'LL SHOW YOU WIMPY, DOG-TURD! 

**Nine baboon pelts . . .**

Naraku: Though the only draw back would be that the pelt isn't enchanted fang resistant. 

**Eight Kirara hugs . . .**

Kirara: Mew! 

**Seven Hell attempts . . .**

Kikyou: Stop that! Inu Yasha's life is mine! *hauls out the arrows* 

**Six mock exams . . .**

Kagome: *wails* I"ll never get into high school! 

**Five enchanted fangs!**

Sesshoumaru: *watches the fight dispassionantly* Idiots. 

**Four Air Rips . . .**

Kagome: Miroku-sama, where's our tree? 

Miroku: Um . . . 

**Three indecent proposals . . .**

Miroku: ^_^ 

**Two Osuwaris . . .**

Inu Yasha is now out for the count. 

**And a kitsune in a god tree!**

Shippou: ABOUT TIME! YAY! *gets out of the tree* 

Author: *sings* Shave and a hair cut, to bits! Thank you everybody! 


End file.
